We already know this, yet I can practically hear you playing coy behind that tab: Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel is the Super Nintendo cartridge that looks like a normal side-scrolling mascot, then whips out a shuriken, belly-flops through the sky, and claps your expectations harder than a 300-page shōnen cliff-hanger. “Aero the Acro-Bat’s edgy rival gets his […]
We already know this, but I will say it anyway because the world keeps forgetting: Zool: Ninja of the “Nth” Dimension on Super Nintendo is what happens when Sonic the Hedgehog drinks three cans of Surge, slams into a piñata factory, and decides the shattered candy shards are adequate camouflage. Bizarre premise? Absolutely. Underrated? More than a
Zool (SNES) – the Gremlin Ninja Who Crash-Landed in a Sugar-Coated Fever Dream Read Post »
We already know this, but I refuse to let the point slip beneath the sofa cushions of pop culture: Zoop on Super Nintendo is the bright-pink platypus of 16-bit puzzlers. It waltzed into 1995 wearing hyperactive chevrons, declared itself “America’s Largest Killer of Time!” (yes, Viacom’s marketing department typed that with a straight face), and then dared us to
Zoop (SNES) – The Color-Swapping Fever Dream That Outspeeds Your Reflexes Read Post »
The jagged scar on my right elbow, Elbow Jones, if we’re on nickname terms, predicts belt-scroll weather better than any barometer. Whenever a cartridge cue loads up that crunchy “WHUD” sample, the bone hums like a tuning fork struck by Guy’s spinning back-fist. Tonight it is vibrating so hard the coffee on my desk forms
Best Snes Beat ‘Em Up Games Read Post »
“Swipe it, don’t stare at it,” my friend used to tell me whenever I pulled the rat-eaten Blockbuster™ membership card from my pocket. He meant the mag-strip, of course, but I swear the thing actually vibrates when it gets near a Super Nintendo. I have named the card Cardboardus. Cardboardus is our absurd talisman today, humming in recognition whenever