Reviews

SNES, Reviews

Clock Tower (SNES) – Why This Japan-Only Cart Invented Stalker Horror

Nintendo’s 16-bit catalog is stacked with heroic verbs, jump, blast, power-up, occasionally kart, but every so often a cartridge sneaks onto the shelf that replaces those verbs with a single, desperate imperative: run. Clock Tower (Super Famicom, September 14 1995) is that cartridge. It hands you a teenage orphan, a mansion dripping with gothic dread, […]

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SNES, Reviews

Aladdin (SNES) – Apples vs. Scimitars: The Platformer Feud You Forgot

The early ’90s were a fever dream: pagers beeped like low-bit rattlesnakes, Jurassic Park made us whisper “clever girl,” and every playground echoed with off-key renditions of “A Whole New World.” Smack in that pop-culture casserole landed Capcom’s Aladdin for the Super Nintendo, a platformer where the most valuable item is a piece of fruit and the hero’s

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NES

Contra (NES) – Review – The NES Cartridge That Still Spikes Your Heart Rate

Some videogames merely entertain; Contra for the Nintendo Entertainment System kicks you out of a dropship, stuffs your nostrils with 8-bit cordite, and then dares you to whisper the word casual with a straight face. Classic or overrated relic? (Yes. Also no. Let’s not pretend nuance exists when Spread Gun particles start flying.) It’s absurd and indispensable in the

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SNES, Reviews

X-Kaliber 2097 (SNES) – The Weirdest Beat-’Em-Up You Skipped

Why does a future-noir brawler starring a sword named after a Camelot heirloom exist on the Super Nintendo? (Because the ’90s were legally obligated to ship at least one game per fiscal quarter containing the letters X and K side-by-side, obviously.) From its first splash screen X-Kaliber 2097 looks like someone stuffed Final Fight, a stack of Marvel comics,

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SNES, Reviews

X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse (SNES) – Capcom’s Danger Room Odyssey on the SNES

We already know the SNES vault teems with genre classics, Super Metroid’s atmospheric isolation, Chrono Trigger’s time-bending epics, Street Fighter II’s button-mashing ballet, but every once in a while, a title sneaks in, flings open the Danger Room doors, and dares you to survive a pixel-perfect mutant meltdown. Enter X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse, Capcom’s 16-bit love

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