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NES, Reviews

Jackal (NES) – Review – NES Hard, No Passwords, No Mercy

How often does an 8-bit run-and-gun let you Tokyo-drift a jeep, scoop up POWs like bonus coins, and upgrade your grenade launcher into a screen-shredding missile hurricane, all while a Sousa-meets-Saturday-morning anthem blares out of the triangle channel? (Rhetorical, of course: the answer is exactly once.) Jackal, Konami’s 1988 NES conversion of its 1986 arcade cabinet, sits in that odd […]

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Sega Dreamcast

Sonic Adventure (Sega Dreamcast) – Broken Cameras, Perfect Memories – The Glorious Mess of Emerald Coast

We already know this hedgehog has outrun 16-bit marketing buzzwords, 4Kids voice dubs, and an entire Hollywood redesign controversy, so of course his first polygonal outing is equal parts watershed and fever dream. Sonic Adventure hands you six campaigns that collide like multiverse fan-fic, a memory-card Tamagotchi that grows when you ride city buses, and a

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SNES, Reviews

EarthBound (SNES) The RPG That Smells and It’s Not the Scratch-and-Sniff

Is EarthBound the lovingly warped sitcom of Japanese RPGs or the avant-garde late-night radio play that Nintendo somehow smuggled onto American shelves in the summer of ’95? (Do rhetorical questions answer themselves? Only if you hit “B” fast enough.) Reviews at launch called it childish, stinky (literally, more on the scratch-and-sniff fiasco in a minute),

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SNES, Reviews

Clock Tower (SNES) – Why This Japan-Only Cart Invented Stalker Horror

Nintendo’s 16-bit catalog is stacked with heroic verbs, jump, blast, power-up, occasionally kart, but every so often a cartridge sneaks onto the shelf that replaces those verbs with a single, desperate imperative: run. Clock Tower (Super Famicom, September 14 1995) is that cartridge. It hands you a teenage orphan, a mansion dripping with gothic dread,

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SNES, Reviews

Aladdin (SNES) – Apples vs. Scimitars: The Platformer Feud You Forgot

The early ’90s were a fever dream: pagers beeped like low-bit rattlesnakes, Jurassic Park made us whisper “clever girl,” and every playground echoed with off-key renditions of “A Whole New World.” Smack in that pop-culture casserole landed Capcom’s Aladdin for the Super Nintendo, a platformer where the most valuable item is a piece of fruit and the hero’s

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