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NES

Contra (NES) – Review – The NES Cartridge That Still Spikes Your Heart Rate

Some videogames merely entertain; Contra for the Nintendo Entertainment System kicks you out of a dropship, stuffs your nostrils with 8-bit cordite, and then dares you to whisper the word casual with a straight face. Classic or overrated relic? (Yes. Also no. Let’s not pretend nuance exists when Spread Gun particles start flying.) It’s absurd and indispensable in the […]

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SNES, Reviews

X-Kaliber 2097 (SNES) – The Weirdest Beat-’Em-Up You Skipped

Why does a future-noir brawler starring a sword named after a Camelot heirloom exist on the Super Nintendo? (Because the ’90s were legally obligated to ship at least one game per fiscal quarter containing the letters X and K side-by-side, obviously.) From its first splash screen X-Kaliber 2097 looks like someone stuffed Final Fight, a stack of Marvel comics,

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SNES, Reviews

X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse (SNES) – Capcom’s Danger Room Odyssey on the SNES

We already know the SNES vault teems with genre classics, Super Metroid’s atmospheric isolation, Chrono Trigger’s time-bending epics, Street Fighter II’s button-mashing ballet, but every once in a while, a title sneaks in, flings open the Danger Room doors, and dares you to survive a pixel-perfect mutant meltdown. Enter X-Men: Mutant Apocalypse, Capcom’s 16-bit love

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Amiga, Reviews

Abandoned Places: A Time for Heroes (Amiga) – Bread Crumbs, Paprika Runes, and the Hungaro-Amiga Dream

We already know the Amiga catalogue is a kaleidoscope of demo-scene flexes, bedroom curios, and at least three different chrome-teapot tech demos, so why does Abandoned Places: A Time for Heroes still feel like that oddball cousin who shows up to the family reunion in chain-mail, quotes Dragonlance at the snack table, then politely asks if anyone can resurrect

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Uncategorized

The Legend of Kyrandia (PC) – Jester’s Laughter, Fireberry Hangovers, and the Nine-Slot Tyranny

We already know early-’90s adventure games either delighted in murdering you for mis-clicks (hi, Sierra), drenched everything in self-aware snark (hello, LucasArts), or protected their secrets with novellas of lore that doubled as copy-protection (looking at you, Ultima VII). But what about a title that looked like Disney concept art, sounded like an Amiga demo-scene mixtape,

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