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The Lost Vikings (PC) – Review – Norse Comedy Meets Brain Gym

Every retro library hides at least one box that looks harmless, until you boot it and realize you’ve voluntarily signed up for a three-hour physics exam proctored by cartoon Norsemen. That, in a cracked nutshell, is The Lost Vikings on MS-DOS: a puzzle-platformer so simultaneously sensible and surreal that I still can’t decide whether it’s the spiritual ancestor […]

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PC, Reviews

Simon the Sorcerer (PC) – Review – Pixel Fantasy, Full-Voice Irony

Every medium-sized generation gets its rite-of-passage fantasy kid. The ’80s crowned Atreyu on a luck-dragon, the 2000s produced Harry under a staircase, and wedged neatly between them lurks a ginger teenager in a robe two sizes too big whose most devastating spell is weaponised sarcasm. That, fellow retro spelunkers, is Simon, reluctant hero of Adventure

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PC, Reviews

Winter Olympics: Lillehammer ’94 (PC) – Review – From Bobsled Rockets to Sprites on Skis

Cue the ski-lift music and buckle that neon windbreaker, because we’re going back to the days when “multimedia” meant a Sound Blaster 16 that squealed like a happy modem. Winter Olympics: Lillehammer ’94 is, paradoxically, both the Platonic ideal of an IOC-licensed cash-in and a lovable mutt that keeps chasing its own tail down the bobsled run. Underrated? Some

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PC, Reviews

Warlords II (PC) – Review – One More Turn, One Less Friend

Is Warlords II a by-the-numbers sequel, the strategy-game equivalent of plain oatmeal, or a sublimely odd artifact that taught early-’90s teenagers to weaponise e-mail attachments? (Rhetorical question. Self-answer: somehow both, plus a pinch of black magic.) On paper it looks sensible, slightly sharper AI, a convenient mouse interface, a smattering of new unit art. Yet

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SNES, Reviews

Blue Force (PC) – Review – Crime-Scene Sim Meets ‘90s Cameo Gimmick

Is Blue Force the DOS adventure equivalent of an over-caffeinated ride-along, half procedural sermon, half off-brand action flick, lying forgotten in the glove compartment of history? (Rhetorical question. Self-answer: obviously, yes.) Jim Walls, the ex-highway patrolman who gift-wrapped Police Quest for Sierra, split from Oakhurst in ’92, joined Tsunami Media, and immediately decided that gamers

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